Them Genes

The neighbors above were stomping or moving heavy things across the room. This was happening at 4AM. In and out of a daze, I yelled "please stop, it's too early and people have jobs". It stopped and uneasily I drifted back into sleep. Felt light at first because something dropped on the bed. A cylinder type of shape...near my face. And when I looked up the ceiling was half opened. I was terrified at what they were doing up there. There was drilling that I must have zoned out and when I sat up in disbelief and decided to look up, a black doberman jumped down onto my bed and as he landed, and proceeded to the living room, he left a trail of flees. I tried to shoo them away by locking my room door after the dog ran off. Then i looked up and the ceiling was recently cemented. Then I laid my head down and a few minutes after that, I woke up. My morning was one sprinkled with anxiety and I couldn't shake it off so I decided to play ocean waves and set a 10 minute timer as I...

There were a couple of toys I loved to play with as a child. One was play- doh and the other was a tea set that I got for Christmas. I used to mix all of the colors of my play-doh set to create a form of brown...then I would mold it to resemble little biscuits and place them on my tiny little plates...to make believe they were to be had with my warm tea (which was really warm water from the faucet). Everywhere I went I carried a plastic bag (from a grocery store) with all the pieces of my set...at least for two.  One day, I must've been about 4 years old, my mom dropped me and my older brother off at my nana's apartment (that's what we called our sitter...whom we loved to be with). The only thing is that nana watched a bunch of us...not just me and Ralphy. As you're probably guessing my tea set was everyones tea set. There was no fighting allowed, we had to share. I wasn't very happy about this. The other kids didn't take good care of t...

Lay down your weary head When the troubled waters flow Life breaks us all sometimes Where we need to grow Innocence is not a crime In time we understand And find the grace of mercy Sifting through the fingers of God's hand CHORUS: I know the broken places I've grown strong in every one Sown in the empty spaces A seed of work left to be done Each wound my heart embraces Becomes a cry that God has won And He knows the broken places In barren fields my heart was led As I waited there alone Shaken by my brokenness As I faced the great unknown Then I heard the voice of peace In this distant desert land Reached out for the promise That was born for every man CHORUS God knows the broken places He treasures every tear In a jar of alabaster He'll use to wash away the years The years of broken places I can name them one by one And with His love He traces The seed of work soon to be done Each wound my heart embraces Becomes a cry that God has won I know the broken places I've liv...

"Our spirit is the most important part of who we are. And yet we rarely spend time developing our inner life. That’s what Spiritual Formation is all about." I read this in writing that was given to the people that will be facilitating the group process of Spiritual formation in the Fall. I read this handout more than once and every time I did the same line jumped out at me.  Something within me leaped with excitement  (perhaps my neglected spirit) almost causing tears to run down my face. I didn't feel guilt, but I was sad because I realized that I had been trying to become better by doing things, not realizing that in doing them…I was not "being" in the moment enough to nurture my spirit.  I wake up every morning and shower, making sure that I wash behind my ears and between my toes…oh and never forgetting my scalp. That I wash with special invigorating shampoos. I then moisturize and make...

After reading the first book of Timothy, I decided to write out some of the clear instructions Paul gave him:  1. Cling to your faith in Christ , and keep your conscience clear. 2. Pray for all people. Ask God to help them; Intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them.  3. In every place of worship I want men to pray with Holy hands lifted up to God free from anger and controversy.  4. Women are to be modest in their appearance.  5. If aspiring to be an elder-ones life must be above reproach.  6. Deacons must be well respected and have integrity.  7. We should not reject anything but receive it with thanks.  8. Train yourself to be godly.  9. Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. 10. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith and your purity.  11. Focus on reading the scriptures to the church, encouraging the believers and teaching them.  12. Do no...

This morning in reading my notes from yesterday's sermon (delivered by Pastor Michael Durso), I decided to continue reading the book that he mostly emphasized, James. I found these words that I have never taken notice of before. They brought a new immense amount of comfort and a realization of how much I miss out on when I don't read the word, thinking that I already know all that there is to know. Growth happens is time... "He will not rebuke you for asking." James 1:5 …and after reading these words, I felt more at liberty to ask God (without feeling that he would respond as others would or have in the past) for things that I lack. It was as if James knew that I would rebuttal the first part of this scripture: If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you.  As if he knew that I would make an excuse and simply not ask…kind of like the guy at the Bethesda pool. But in not asking, comes others things like complaining, jealously, bitterness...

Today I sit at my table with a cup of Pete's coffee thinking about what happened last night. I think about what happened, last night as we celebrated what happened 2000 years ago.  I think, but I won't assume, that many know the story of Jesus. But if you don't (because I didn't until I was 21) here's the short version: Jesus was born of a virgin (named Mary), fast forward He grew up, preached for 3 years, than knowingly and willingly gave up His life, a sacrifice for our sins, died on a cross, and…well the rest of the story is the hope that we Christians have…and the longing of my heart (according t0 2 Corinthians 5)…the Resurrection of Jesus, The Christ.  I have been following Jesus for about 9 years now, and every year the more I hear and know the story the more my heart leaps. When I first heard of what He did, it was more of a heroic shock that wowed me to the point of tears  'Why would anyone die for me' was my thought. That alone was enough...

In April of 2010 I had surgery to have two impacted wisdom teeth removed. It was one of the most excruciating pains (the removal) that I have ever experience. I developed dry socket...making even inhaling difficult. Drinking water was a drag. Anything sweet...forget it. To say the least I took 2 weeks off of work because my entire body felt the pain of my gums. I was on drugs that were not able to deal with the pain directly. All the drugs did were make me drowsy and feel weak. It was terrible. Then someone came along and told me to boil cloves and mix it with black tea. She said not to drink it, but to just let it sit in my mouth. I had tried everything and nothing seemed to bring relief. So, then I decided what can I lose by trying this home remedy. I boiled the cloves, put them in black tea, and followed the instructions...and instantly I felt the most unbelievable alleviation of total pain. It was as if I never had surgery. I no longer needed the pills that were no...

Let  me tell you a story of a long time ago. I was about five years old. I remember what I wore that day. Skippies, jeans, and a white tee with a jean jacket. It was a normal day. We were just going out for a normal  stroll.  I was taken to what looked like a cathedral. I walked around as any child would, who felt safe. Free and oblivious. But somethings about this place that were were about to enter I took note of. The building was old and abandoned on the outside, but when we stepped into the place, the windows were stained glass. They were  beautiful  and full of color.  Mother sat me at a table to eat a bowl of cereal while she engaged  with a tall man. My interest at that moment was t he bowl which was made of bamboo, and in it was my favorite cereal with milk.  I began to eat as mother stepped away with grandma and my seven year old brother.  Mother was to my right, my far right. I could see her through my  peripheral  ...

Thinking about that woman at the Rosie House, years ago, who asked if she could sing a song (the band did not need to know it). When she sang, her comrades wept. The pain she felt, the pain they felt, they shared in song that morning in the gym at Rikers Island.  They listened to her as she sang alone. But they all sang with her as they yes'ed and amen'ed the line that was most hopeful to them. They all sand that day a song, that anyone who is merely listening to with a human ear could just not hear. But to those with ears to listen, let them hear...and they did.  I will never again hear that song the same. "His Eye Is On The Sparrow" was her song of choice.  Richard Foster says in Songs For Renewal: The black spiritual was born to sustain an enslaved people and to give expression to their anguish.  So today I invite you to sing a new song to the Lord. A song stemmed from suffering, or one from joy. But a song that speaks of the hope we have in Him...

For a couple of weeks now I have been realizing a struggle being exposed. This struggle is that I am not able to worship God in spirit and in truth. Well, I am asking God to search me within for that discovery that’s in the process of being made clearer. I was sitting in the congregation a couple of weeks ago, on a Sunday morning when I heard a voice say don’t sing. All of sudden I felt angry, put my worshipping arms down and stopped singing. I did not know why I was angry. Then another voice came to me that said: sing. But I did not want to at this point and decided to listen to the first voice. All of a sudden that second voice said sing (again) because this is warfare. I then began to cry as I told that voice: No, I wont sing. My tears were tears of the struggle that was going on spiritually inside of me and spiritually outside of me. I could not see it but if I could, it would look like tug of war. As I listened to the leaders singing the chorus of the song, the 2nd voice then star...

Oh how I would love to have my eyes back. The eyes of that five year old child. Every time I was taken to get my eyes checked the Ophthalmologists were imp ressed at how good I was able to see. I definitely did not need glasses. Man, have times changed! 21 years later, I get teased for looking over my rimmed, unstylish glasses, as an old lady would, man, have times changed:) I really want to talk about perspective. I saw things in a different light long ago. No one could do wrong. The hero's in my life, through those eyes, are the very people that I struggle to be in relationship with today. The ones whom I have set high expectations on and have critically ripped apart with judgement. Who were these hero's? My family, but in particular my dad. I am my dad's only daughter and He was this great man in my eyes. He was not only my friend but was like a big brother who defended me. At about 14-15years old, I continued to confide in him as a friend and brother but when the tough ...

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Today, I have to thank God for the people he has called and chosen and allowed to be an impacting part of my life. Before the Gospel of Christ came to my ears, I heard of God and of sin, and of death, and of hell and of obedience and of disobedience. But never did i hear of life, and the way out of the things I knew where wrong. When I was a little girl about 11 years old, I was sitting in the park on 156th street after running around in the sprinklers for sometime. I decided to relax and dry off before i went home to grandmas. At that time, an older woman came over to me and asked me if I wanted to receive Jesus into my life and, well I said what do i have to do, and she responded: all you have to do is say that you receive him. So i said, Ok i receive him. Who "him" was, i had no idea, what "him" did, i knew not and why "him" was to be received-lets just say i was completely ignorant to. I grew up with general revelation of God but no spiritual revelat...

...and he ran after her only to find her in the arms of another man..and he waited patiently with tears in his eyes...

Meet June, our friend from Castle Hill area. Has good and bad days. One of her best experiences this particular day was that she had some rice with beans and chicken, and it was GOOD!..don't be afraid to greet her...it just may be the next best experience ;)

feeding a holy discontent...the lost can still be found. Stay close to your "Holy Discontent" was the repeated message delivered on May 30th 2009, A message I once heard during one of the Leadership Summit. The message didn't hit me as much, the first time I heard it-so thank God for repetition. Homeless, Hungry, Broken, Alone...those were the written words of this gentleman whom I had the privilege to greet. Sitting on a folded quilt (in a clear garbage bag) reading his book. I asked him boldly, with fear, if i could take some pictures of him. I expected a yes or a no but he asked, why? How awesome was that?-totally a great question for conversation. I explained the sermon that was spoken and how i wanted to apply by feeding it, because I couldn't take anymore of it-and he nodded with an understanding look and said, OK. I was really surprised and thanked him. I first asked him what his name was and what he was reading. He told me he was reading a book of soldiers in ...