Today I sit at my table with a cup of Pete's coffee thinking about what happened last night. I think about what happened, last night as we celebrated what happened 2000 years ago. I think, but I won't assume, that many know the story of Jesus. But if you don't (because I didn't until I was 21) here's the short version: Jesus was born of a virgin (named Mary), fast forward He grew up, preached for 3 years, than knowingly and willingly gave up His life, a sacrifice for our sins, died on a cross, and…well the rest of the story is the hope that we Christians have…and the longing of my heart (according t0 2 Corinthians 5)…the Resurrection of Jesus, The Christ.
I have been following Jesus for about 9 years now, and every year the more I hear and know the story the more my heart leaps. When I first heard of what He did, it was more of a heroic shock that wowed me to the point of tears 'Why would anyone die for me' was my thought. That alone was enough of a reason for me to want to inquire more about this Man's life. I mean, I didn't even know what sin was or how bad it was that anyone would even need to die for it. Add to that not just anyone, but someone who "knew no sin", and "told me all the things I had done…" (John 4), but still said yes to death…for me. I mean, how could I resist knowing this Man?
Last night the Cross of Jesus became a more personal experience for me. I am now starting to be broken by the cleansing power of this bloody reality. But this brokenness is coming with the price of going deep into my own depravity and sorrow (something that I have not wanted to deal with). I use to think that following Jesus meant: forget about your past…everything is good now. Ehnt! I was wrong. But that was due to lack of knowledge that the Blood that was spilled out was strong enough to handle the "all" of my life including the shame and guilt that was attached to my old life. This ignorance limits the glory and praise that He deserves.
I didn't really decide to dig deeper, the pain of life just began to surface. Believe me this was not my doing. But the lower I went, my mind and heart felt like they were sinking. I was on my way toward "The Valley of Vaca (weeping)". And to walk down that path can either lead to a hopeless depression or a "refreshing springs". The 1st one was more familiar, but there was a fight in me that reasoned and questioned and even longed for the latter. I could no longer just do life in denial that there had been so much that happened that was the reason for most of my "broken body and sin sick soul", but how can I deal and not stay in this place of melancholia? That was the moment that the darkness was overcome by light. A still small voice in my heart assured me that I was not alone. And that the blood that was poured out "reaches to the lowest Valleys…and will never lose it's power."
Emmanuel. He is always with you and me. He gently reminded me through His Holy Spirit about Calvary. He reminded me through all of the songs that were sung last night at our Celebratory service. But the lyrics of this song felt as if Jesus pulled me aside and took a blood-soaked rag and began to wash away my ambiguity.
Precious Blood by Lanny Wolfe
So many years, so many lambs were offered up
But all the blood that was spilled could never fill that bitter cup
til One spotless lamb in the form of man, gave His life on Calvary
it was the only blood that could ever set me free
Chorus
For His blood, was not just blood of another spotless lamb
But His blood, was precious blood for it washed the sins of man
and His blood, it heals my body and it sets my spirit free
I'm so glad His precious blood, still flows from Calvary
No other blood could heal my broken body
And no other blood could save my sin sick soul
No other blood, could conquer death and win the victory
No other blood but the blood Jesus shed for me
God, through his song somehow did something to my inner parts that turned my heart to "simply take Him at His word". So today, as I sit at my table and consider what the Cross accomplished my heart is set on pilgrimage. And the blood, which is half of the story, is what will take me "from strength to strength…every praising Him."
Tomorrow we will gather and celebrate the 2nd part, the glorious part. The completion of the anomaly as we praise and adore this Man, Jesus.
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